I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
did i just pee glitter
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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