Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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