THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize