Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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