Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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