I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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