Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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