dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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