Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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