So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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