Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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