The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
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You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
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We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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