her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
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I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
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You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i need some magic done to my vagina
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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