my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
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I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
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He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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