Please, let me fuck your mom
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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