I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize