i may or may not be watching the land before time
ugly people sure do ruin things
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize