you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
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I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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