girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
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Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
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I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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