I hate your face
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
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