The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize