yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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