omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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