You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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