I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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