i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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