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well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
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