hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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