I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize