maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
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The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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