How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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