I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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