do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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