I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize