afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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