As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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