So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
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I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
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I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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