I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
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