just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
then he tried to convert me to islam
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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