She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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