I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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