I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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