Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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