Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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