so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize