I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize