WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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