In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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