i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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