Tell her she can't have a vagina
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize